What we all fear to admit

I have seen it

Its horrible threads

Hanging from their limbs

On every pieces of their bodies

I have no weapon

I have no valor

But an enemy and many wounds

I fear

It consumes all of us

Our respiration quivers

Betraying us

The only thing we can barely control

Gone

That is the silence

Of many staked bodies

Red

And an oxidizing smell

Surrounding us

It’s all they say

Without it

Peace won’t come

And with it

We all rise

Lies

Lies

Lies

Lies

They just seek power through us.

(25 de enero de 2014)

FPSA

State

My obsession is for someone else

It’s for that entity I haven’t found

There are no resources

There is no stillness

Stressing limbs

Dry mouth

I cannot pursuit what I cannot see

My eyes are blinded by your sent

Or that daydream I just created

My senses are shouted down

When reality is done for

They are taking me as their possession  

I struggle against lust

I fight against desire

I get a glimpse of reality

And again I’m taken over

Red

Dark red consumes me

Like a heavy substance

Maroon, purple

The dark side isn’t visible but felt

It’s white; in the inside it engulfs me  

It bruises me

Now it’s physical

(January 11, 2014)

FPSA

Fear

It´s so irritating how a negative event in your life can change you so much, but what is more irritating is how it can retain you from living. My scar makes me afraid of loving you, it too make me unaware of your affection, I really don´t understand if there is something happening here as I’m totally absorbed in my thoughts. Yes, my scar make me afraid of thinking you may love me back, this is as true as the lack of affection that I have received from other guys, as I have only received disgust from their words, nothing more, nothing less. These are sufficient words to make me know I´m not liked, nor seen as someone important. This is why I don’t know if believe my gut that is telling me you seem flirty, or listen to my reason that seems afraid of getting hurt.

Yes, I’m afraid of everything, of the lies, the falls, except of something positive happening. In other words, I’m afraid of rejection and loosing someone so dear, so near that could be sewed to my heart. And what is worst, I really like you, and life is too short to be wasted in fear.

(October 21, 2012)

FPSA